Looking back on this past week, I probably could have
written a blog post everyday because I did something different each day and
each day I learned something new. Unfortunately my writing process is a little
longer than the time I have in any given day. For now, I will just share about
some of the things I learned in our conflict resolution sessions with our guest
Dave Babcock, who has been an OM missionary with his wife for over forty years.
Dave and his wife Brenda came all the way from Austria to
share and speak with us this week during our devotional time, a few teaching
sessions, and our team retreat. They are each incredible individuals and they
have so much to offer about life and God’s hand in and around their lives.
Despite the age and life experience variance between us, I found it
exceptionally easy to talk with them and I am thankful for the opportunity to
now have them in my life.
On Thursday and Friday, Dave lead a session for the entire
staff of OM Ireland on conflict and resolution, which sounds like a boring
cliché course on how to talk to people when you have problems with them. In a
way, I suppose it was; only, it wasn’t boring at all. The focus was on
understanding where conflict comes from and how to approach it.
The first thing we looked at was a pyramid of functionality
within our team, modeled after Patrick Lencioni’s diagram from his book The
Five Dysfunctions of a Team. The first tier is trust, then constructive
conflict, commitment, accountability, and at the top is unity in a common
purpose. It is important to understand that conflict is inevitable when in a team
setting, but that doesn’t always mean it is negative. Conflict can actually
strengthen relationships and allow people to come to better understandings of
one another, but only when it is resolved. In order for conflict to be
resolved, all parties involved must make a commitment to each other, hold one
another accountable, and have a common goal in mind.
So why do conflicts arise? Sometimes the reasons seem
obvious and sometimes they are not, but the underlying reason is always because
of human diversity. There are so many things that make us as humans different
from one another and those differences shape the way we think, communicate, and
handle situations. A huge factor to consider is culture. Something I didn’t
recognize myself is that culture is not merely defined by country or region,
but also education, family, religion, philosophy, work, generational contrasts,
and who knows what else. Even within a single culture, people have varying
thinking styles. We looked at the following four:
- Linear – thinking in straight lines and going through a clear process to come to a conclusion. i.e. a + b + c = d
- Dialectic – thinking a in a triangle of possible problems i.e. thesis > synthesis > antithesis
- Existential/intuitive – jumping to conclusions
- Global/contextual – thinking of all the related things; relational
Our thought processes and life experiences dictate how we
deal with conflict and the five core conflict coping methods are: competitor,
resolver, compromiser, avoider, and yielder.
There are too many distinctions to cover, but these sessions
really opened my eyes up to how unique we all are. And each difference we have
also means we have something in common to share with someone else in the world.
I encourage you to explore what you have in common with those around you and
see what makes you unique too. Learn how you deal with conflict and how you
think and use that knowledge to better work with others. Whether we are in
school, in a career, or simply interacting with family, we all have to be able
to deal with conflict.
So that was long… and it didn’t even do justice to the
session! Oh well. I hope you learned something. Now it’s time for another taste
of Ireland!
Taste of Ireland: Chips are Fries and Crisps are potato chips and they don’t have goldfish crackers!
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| The side view from our house |
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| A cow near Lacken House |
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| Part of Roscommon Town |
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| Me at Clonmacnoise, standing on a bog |
Disclaimer: the sky is not always blue with white fluffy clouds.
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