Home is Where the Heart Is

It has been two weeks since my last post and two weeks since I have returned to the US. I am once again at a loss for what to say. There's no need to recap all that I have learned because I essentially wrote that as it came, but I need to have a proper conclusion to this chapter of my story. And with that I would like to talk about this thing called 'home.' I will not be the first to speak on or write about this, but more for my own sake, I need to flush out my own conclusions about it.

My thoughts on home changed quite drastically as the year progressed. In the early months of my stay in Ireland, I thought of home as the physical place of my family’s house in San Diego, California. Along with this thought came people and objects of familiarity seemingly only present at ‘home.’

As time went on, I felt I had found a home in Ireland and so my idea of what home was shifted. It was no longer a single place or even a collection of familiar things. Home was somewhere I belonged and could be myself. I was reminded of my director in theatre once saying to the cast “welcome home,” and we all felt it was true. Similarly in Ireland, I had a home away from home… But why did it have to be “away from home.” Wasn’t it possible to have more than one home? After all, home is not a single place. It is not fixed. It can change.

This idea that my home had changed was a bit unsettling because I did not want to deny my first home nor have to think about leaving home for, well, home. Then I realized that neither place is home. In a way they are both a home, and since parts of my heart are in both places, they become important to me, but home is not here. Home is in heaven with Christ Jesus. That is where I ultimately belong and where I will be eternally safe. My heart is with Jesus and He sits at the right hand of God in heaven. Until the day comes when I join him, I am a foreigner in this land (John 17:13-17, 1 Peter 2:11, Philippians 3:20). I may live and dwell here, but this is not home and in many ways, I am glad it isn’t. In my father’s house, I will get to see all of my brothers and sisters, of whom I have met a few in Ireland. In my father’s house, there will be no fear of loss or pain. It will be all home is meant to be without flaw or inadequacy. Home is where the heart is and my heart is with Christ in heaven.

Taste of Ireland: Unlike the US, Ireland is small. It is has vast expanses of beauty and yet has a small-town feel in much of the country. 

P.S. If you would like to find out what's next for me, you can click here. 

Feeling Like A Smoothie

Not long before we began our bus tour, I wrote in my journal “I either want to spend everyday until I leave Ireland on the road, or sleep everyday until I leave.” Among other reasons, I thought being busy on tour would keep me from feeling like this emotional smoothie. I want to stay. I want go home. I have a home here. I want to find another home in Jackson. I love what I am doing now, but I am excited about the future. With only a month left before I head west again, it’s almost impossible to avoid thinking about leaving and that means goodbyes will come sooner than wanted.

If anything, the tour has just added to my emotional smoothie because now I have more people whom I love but will depart from. I have also seen how short a year really is. It takes time to settle into a role, establish relationships and trust with team members, develop skills, and invest in people. Many kids from this past week would have seen me in the Christmas tour, but I will now never see them again. And when Junior brings a team back again, he will likely be the only familiar face.

I want to invest more than a few months. I want to commit my life to the work of the Lord. I don’t want the next four years to be a break from that or a period of rest.

Taste of Ireland: "What's the story?" is a common phrase used to ask "what's up?" or "what's going on?"

An Ordinary Day With Extraordinary Features

I seem to post a lot of things about "what I am learning" or "what God's teaching me," which is indeed a huge part of life, but I have not said much about days like today. Today was a normal day with extraordinary features. Everything about it seemed to contrast with yesterday. Yesterday was a windy day with bursts of down pouring rain. Today the sun was shining and the breeze blew but gently. The clouds in the sky were like the sheep that dot the fields. Yesterday I was tired and lacking in creative drive or ideas. Today I was well rested and full of new thoughts. Yesterday I was discouraged about finances and today I was greatly encouraged by God's ways and timing of providing. Everyday is new. Everyday is ordinary and yet also extraordinary.


Taste of Ireland: Even though I hate the thought of eating a little lamb, well made lamb stew is so good!

An Invisible Line

Travelling between North and South Dakota does not reveal drastic differences in lifestyle. In fact, not very much is different in terms of culture or customs. In contrast, the differences between North and South Korea would be drastic. Distinctions between Northern Ireland and The Republic of Ireland are somewhere in between (although no where near as severe as North/South Korea). For starters, Northern Ireland is a part of the UK and the Republic is not. I won’t go into the politics because I don’t entirely understand it all myself, but this distinction effects the way of life across the border.

After only one visit to the North, the difference in economy was notable. The cars on the roads and in the car parks were generally more expensive brands, models, and/or year. The shopping centers were bustling with people and no one was worried about heating their homes. The greatest difference I would like to note is in the evangelical population. The lunch we attended after the service of a church in the north had more people than if all the members of two local churches in the Republic came together. Contrary to popular belief, the Republic of Ireland only has about 1.5% Evangelical Christians. Over 90% of the population claim Christianity as their religion [Operation World], but especially in recent years, ritual, guilt, and social norms have taken precedence over true relationships with Christ.

It is sad to see how desperately lost so many people are. The fact that there are massive congregations just an invisible line away makes me think about how many lost people I ignore across my own invisible borders. I don’t know how to resolve the issues that lie between people of each nation nor do I have a right to say how things should change, but as a member of the body of Christ, I will say that there is a need for unity within the church in this nation and across borders. Junior used the story of the four friends who brought the paralyzed man to Jesus through the roof to illustrate the church [Mark 2:1-12; Luke 5:17-25] . We must come together with the common goal of bringing people to Jesus. We must work together just as the friends carried the man and walked together. There will be obstacles that come in our way, but faith in the power of God will prevail. It can be uncomfortable to step outside of our Christian bubbles and see that there is world outside our doorsteps that still needs the love of Christ, but it must be done. After all, Jesus came to heal the sick, not the healthy [Matthew 9:11-13].

Taste of Ireland: The typical way to take a cup of tea is black tea with a lot of milk (seriously it’s like they are having tea with their milk) and some sugar. Don’t forget the bikkies! 

Hours Well Spent

In the days leading up to Good Friday, when we began our Easter outreach, I spent most of my time cutting cardboard and paper into shadow puppets. I was determined to finish making everything in time to use for Easter and so I ended up staying in the office working until eleven the night before we left for Carlow. I managed to finish enough that the show would work, even if a few minor details were missing. The first few runs of the show were slow since none of the puppeteers had seen what they were to be doing, and I myself had not seen everything together apart from in my head. After several times going through the show, it was more or less ready to be seen by the public eye. Unfortunately the only time we were actually able to perform it however was on Good Friday in front a few church folks.

Looking back on the week, I am surprised I am not disappointed despite having spent so much time putting the pieces together and then not being able to share the results with many people. We didn’t have the right audience so I knew the time wasn’t right. And even though only a handful of people saw the actual show, the experience of creating something for the first time was one I can only be proud of. The little taste I did have of sharing it with others made me all the more excited for when I do have the opportunity for more people to see it and in the mean time, I want to make it the best I can make it.

Another reason I am not disappointed is that I think the many hours I spent working on this prepared more for the week in a new way. Like times before, much of the outreach was spent on the Big Red Bus allowing people to come inside for a cup of tea or coffee and a chat. We had kids programs planned, one of which was the shadow puppet show, but little of it was used since we had very few kids come during the week. That being said, most of the ministry was in conversations with youth and adults. Unlike the other outreaches I have been part a of, I had good conversations with people everyday. That is not to say I didn’t do anything on previous outreaches, but this time I was less hesitant to approach people and bring up the gospel. This could just be time making me more comfortable, but I really think it is greatly due to how much time I spent on the shadow puppets. I didn’t have time to worry about “what am I going to say to people?” or “how am I going to share God with them?” For days all I was focused on was The Tale of Three Trees and in turn the amazing yet simple story of Christ coming to this Earth then dying for us on the cross. Through pieces of cardboard and paper, God reminded me that I need to look to the cross, and I need to trust in Him. Again and again I talk about trusting God, but it is something I am learning in new forms everyday. This time it was for strength, strength to continue on in His work, strength in His words and not my own, and strength in his unfailing love.

I am so thankful to everyone who encouraged and pushed me in this new direction and I can’t wait to share with you all the final results.

 

Production

A glimpse of the final product

Taste of Ireland: If it is dry outside, the Irish will be outdoors, even if it is three degrees Celsius and windy. I was outside the other day and a child ran by excitedly and yelled with glee: “IT IS DRY OUTSIDE!!!”